Tuesday, December 23, 2008

When the class war comes...

... Public Radio International will be the first to plea the fif.

On my way home from visiting a family struggling with a 14 yr old kid (who, *gasp*, doesn't give a shit if he's suspended every month or if his parent's are worried about him cuz he can't conceptualize a future where his "demerit card" matters) I listened to some random NPR. Someone besides Terry Gross (who always gets a pass) put together some half-baked pieces on an ex-hedge fund advisor's book of poetry, and an upper-middle class NYC couple's financial woes. Marty and ... I dunno... what's the difference... let's say 'Susanna' Edelman live on the Upper East Side. Susanna's looking for her dream job teaching something insipid or other (while her grandparents direct deposit like $12 grand in her account every year (as they have since she was born), and Marty is an assistant professor.

Some reporter (emotive in a 12 year old girl reading 'Superfudge' out loud in 1981-kinda way) wove the harrowing tale of Marty's dad being a high-powered attorney with Merrill Lynch and *oooooo* almost losing his job, and Marty and Susy's investments nearly going sour... It went on from there... complete with the phrase that pays- "nest egg," and the lines, "We're painting our living room with Benjamin Moore paint! Marty and I thought we'd splurge!" and "This whole economic thing really made us appreciate what we have!"

I wish the gods would favor me with how to tell you in a facebook note how happy I am for you guys! Also, I wish I could drown you both in your living room paint. Thanks for keepin it relevant, NPR. Ain't it so precious how public radio can't survive anymore without giving the plutocracy a reach-around?

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Monday, June 16, 2008

Day Trip to: Island Beach State Park, Barnegat Light, LBI, Belmar, and Asbury Park

Choice cuts of boyfriendery yesterday: Surprised C with Exit 63 brutality down the shore in the bitchin Prius. Island Beach State Park up front, but no shots made, cuz the mosquitos were like, "Why can't we have some meats?!" Our bird blind hiking exploits met an imperialist insect invasion, so we hit the rainy beach and fell the fuck out for an hour. I was up at 7:30 making tofurky slice/vegenaise/sprout/'mater sandwiches and washing $500lb. grapes, and the waves lulled the shit outta me. We woke dazed and ruddy and trudged back up the path to see 'Ol Barney.


Neither of us had ever seen it/him, and the prospect of ascending a 19th century lighthouse (2nd biggest in the country) read as all sorts of fogey vacation-core on Barnegat Light's 80's web site. Gloomy and partly shitty as it was, the clouds inimical-ass attitude only served to rad-up the pics, so eat it, Grandma Nature..



The CDB took the crap out of the picture below and I discovered the 36th chamber of the History Brush. After my smoky glare (borne of a minutes -prior Cutter bug spray eye rub) and Spartan 2-4 pack earned me the Prince of Barnegat Light crown,

Takin this campaign all the way to the Light House

we victoriously marched up to the Barney's gatekeeper, who "The way is shut..." 'd us, citing impending electrical storms that would threaten to turn the joint all lightninghouse-y. Seconds after we were like, "Mood: dumped" we met this mofo.


His true colors were naught but beautiful like a rainbow and after our shoot, I walked him to the shrubbery, away from the manic WT paws of errant shore kids.

We rode bikes and made mischief of one kind and another until the rain wanted to get on, and headed to Belmar for a Kaya's Kitchen Sunday vegan buffet. Incredible and way too expensive, we left with gravy dripping from our hooves and tusks. It was a brief ride toward further bloating @ Twisted Tree Cafe in Asbury Park. Pumpkin Walnut muffin'd to the tits, I worked it off by making photos of the AP Casino, which (unlike the rest of the town's development aesthetic) is currently being reanimated with her original vibe intact. Awful (even by central Jersey standards) condos have arisen to gross the shit out of AP this past year and hopefully the city's character will be recognizable when the smoke clears. I'll say a godless prayer that you will defeat the humans, Queen Asbury. You're here, you're queer, and condos can't ruffle your feather boa.

Casino '08_3

Casino '08_7

Casino '08_2

Casino '08_5

Casino '08_6

Casino '08_1

Casino '08_4

Monday, May 19, 2008

CHAOS IN TEJAS 2008 photos

Brilliant times in Austin, TX these past few. Proofs of the proof:






Emo's Austin


Here's a link to the set. (the slideshow feature on flickr seems to be ailing, but you can try it on the set page)


Feel free to re-post. If anyone wants copies or higher res versions of any images, they can hit me here or on flickr.

Thanks to old friends and new for treating each other the way olden punks should.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

"I just to a Nuprin!"* II

The following notes (passed to me during the Reagan era) were found a box in my folks' attic, commingled with a couple of Blanche Knott's Truly Tasteless Joke Books, which I stole from a local bookstore in the mid-80s, and likely brought back to the giant, hollowed-out shrub we used as a clubhouse. I passed the shrub last week and wished it wasn't trimmed to 6 inches off the ground. Prob for the best. "33 Year Old Man Found By Police in Clifton, NJ Shrubbery", although funnier than any Onion headline in the past year, would not bode well, employment-ally, in the event of a google.

Planting land mines around Ronny's grave seems so petty upon recent reflection on how our lives had run parallel:

Minutes after Reagan was sworn in, the hostages were released from Iran, sparking accusations by the left that he orchestrated "The October Surprise."
Minutes after my first day of school, my pee was released in my chair, sparking accusations by Elise Geiger that I was, "A pee-er!!"

In 1986, after bombing Libya, Reagan declared, "Today we did what we had to do. They counted on America to be passive. They counted wrong."
In 1986, after watching Iron Maiden's Live After Death VHS, I declared, "Priest Sucks."

Cindy (below) was my first "girlfriend". This note was pre-dating (read: pre-1st base on the West Point field trip bus ride in 1989).


Shortly after Cindy dumped me in the hallway and gave back my pewter drum pin, I danced with this girl Jen at a VFW hall dance in West Paterson. I vaguely recall going to Hot Grill
or maybe Rutt's Hut
with her, but, aside from a general sense of not liking her and thinking she was mean (and 'didn't even like metal anyway') I have no other memories of her whatsoever.

What a commitment-phobe! Maybe I asked if she wanted to get gravy fries the following Friday after school. Foiled! 15 is too young for a gravy-stained extremely serious relationship promise ring. I see that now. I wonder if she's a grown up, 33 year old crazy lady who writes emails like this to ex boyfriends. I wonder if she married whoever Billy is and works at Linens 'n Things in Totowa.

Finger of fate, how you fingerblast me on the tracks above Pathmark and call me a slut to the whole clarinet line.

*Title a reference to this 4 year prior blog.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Highland War Face

Highland War Face

Me in '88. Totally pissed. This was shot in August, just after I finished a stint at baseball camp. The season prior, I was on an undefeated little league team (Paterson Stamp or Parker House... sponsored by a local business... can't recall which) where the team captain was the coach's son. Course he was. I was far and away the worst player on the team- a potential threat to their image and record. Whenever I was called up to bat, the groans from my own team's dugout were audible... and crescendoed with every unsatisfying swing of the bat. I was fortunate enough to have a dad who [I clearly recall] assured me that if I wasn't enjoying myself and decided to bail, I wouldn't be a "quitter"- I would have just been someone who wasn't having fun and fucked off for good reason. I fully believe that I might have been a different person today if he was a dick about it. I finished out the season of doom and decided, along with my best friend Kevin, that I would sign up for [and destroy at] baseball camp.

What followed was a training period of Rocky IV proportions *Vince DeCola montage fade-in*... What was left when the dust settled is evidenced by the eye of the tiger, above.

When baseball season rolled around (1st season of "Babe Ruth League") teams were randomized but the 1st team we faced boasted a handful of kids who were on the undefeated team from the preceding season. As I approached the plate, I heard muffled laughs and a couple of them sat down in the outfield as a physical demonstration of what I couldn't hear from across the field. I. Was. Seein. Red. The first pitch was at eye level. I swung anyway, and cracked the shit out of it. The ball scorched for the first basemen's head. He ducked just in time. As I stood on first base, safe, I stared down my ex-teammate for a good 5 minutes. I remember getting off a good line, but I'm not even tryin to recall it. No desire to.

Sweet Enola Gay, son.

(Highland, NY is where my Grandmother's parents settled from Italy. They dug for water and started a small working farm. Elders of the Bellacicco family still live on this land and my Grandmother still owns the 2 room cabin, which was built in '69 on the 1 acre of property I'm sitting on, here. I still visit when she's up there. It's just outside Poughkeepsie.)

Monday, April 7, 2008

Woooohhh Oooohhh parts

Kinda special like Lowenbrau:

1. Having a girlfriend who is both not a psychopath and also prone to surprising your azz by painting the inside of your closet & putting your shredded sneakers and hibernating double bass pedal away--

2. Spring cleaning on a dreary Sunday while listening to Verbal Assault and Jon Benjamin.

3. Sprinklin’ gunpowder on Heston’s grave. Thanks for the heads up about it being "made of people" and everything. We had it from there, Bright Dead Eyes.

4. bok choy

5. fresh ginger

6. Scanning 63 year old photos of my grandparents when they were dating. He was on leave. I have the jacket he was wearing in my closet and the train schedule from this trip is still in the chest pocket.
Rendendo romanzesco una minaccia ancora in ’45.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Attenborough for Emperor

Borneo's Pitcher Plants

have adapted to living in low nutrient soils by evolving a lid covered in nectar glands that lures insects and positions them above its waxy, water-filled pitcher. Most slip, drown, and are slowly digested by an enzyme produced at the bottom of the mini pond-grave. Red Crab Spiders hang in the pitchers like Burroughs to junk, securing a safety line out of silk to the edge and lowering themselves down to feed on decaying ants and beetles. That, I can deal with... but, when mosquito larvae fall in and sink to the bottom, outta reach.... things done changed. THIS holy diver will use a nearby air bubble as an oxygen tank to dive to the bottom. After finishing off some wriggling larvae, he climbs back up his underwater safety line. In a display of mutual responsibility that should make any human shit pants-y with shame, the spider insures that the plant he relies on gets fed by regurgitating remains and waste, which are more easily assimilated than a slowly digested, Sarlacc Pit-style, victim.

Planet Earth, I wanna have your bay bay.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Frankie Stubbs, Where are you when we need you?


(from Jack Rabid's The Big Takeover, issue 45, 1999)